Congratulations, you are parents now! The joy of the your baby also comes with huge changes to your daily routine, and a huge increase in the number of daily tasks. There's things like feeding the baby every couple of hours in the beginning, changing nappies, settling, baby bathing time, if you have older kids, you have to take care of them as well ,grocery shopping, more nappies, more feeding, general household tasks and no sleep because of a crying baby. The question is "can you find any time or desire to have sex, and if so when is it save to start having sex again after giving birth".

 "When is it save to have sex after giving birth?"

Before starting intercourse, all bleeding must have stopped to prevent the risk of infection. In general it will take two to six weeks for all bleeding to stop after giving birth. Quite a few women have their six week postnatal check done first, and wait for the all clear of their doctor or midwife before having intercourse again. Others need longer time, it all depends on whether or not your sexual feelings are returned and the recuperation of your body after giving birth. for some sexual desire returns within a couple weeks, for other women it can take up to a year.In general you can start having intercourse again after all bleeding has stopped and you feel physically and emotionally up to it again. Remember have sex because the two of you want to, and not just to please your partner. If you start having intercourse to soon, the pain could build resentment and ruin the pleasure of making love for a long time. You need to be both ready!

Sexual problems after giving birth

First dont make the mistake in thinking that only women have sexual problems after birth. There are quite a few men finding it hard to adjust to the new situation, fears like "what if I hurt my wife during sex", "will it feel the same to have sex again?", experiencing a difficult delivery can also traumatise and cause sexual issues to a man.

Women may have fears of pain or stiches that open up or "will it feel the same having sex?" or "am I still sexy?" It is quite normal for women to feel detached from their sexuality after giving birth, it's the process of adjustment to motherhood and in making the newborn baby her first priority.  

Needless to say that women who had a traumatic delivery, particularly in the case of a forceps delivery or an episiotomy are more likely to experience painful intercourse.

Other reasons for not feeling like sex after giving birth can be:

• Exhaustion from lack of sleep, the crying baby waking you up three times a night
• Stitches that stay sore
• Experiencing an emotionally or physically traumatic birth
• Readjusting hormone levels
• Postnatal depression

Just remember this is all normal and a part of becoming parents, keep talking about all your fears and issues and take all the time you need.